ghost

i am starting this blog not knowing what i want to type. im hoping that if i keep typing what im really thinking, whats REALLY in the back of my head will come forth. this is just plain stupid. i dont think thats even possible. when you have a thought its just... i dont know what the fuck im saying.

i have been extremely lonely this whole vacation. i sit on facebook and hope that someone comes on that i can talk to but then they do and i feel too shy. i need to stop thinking about what others think of me. ive forgotten what it feels like to just be myself im so self consious. its a curse that you cant shake unless some miracle comes along.

im pretty sure that no one reads this. i feel like a ghost.

real

people live by so many rules so many things that just dont fucking matter. why cant people be themselves? id rather deal with someone whos real then some tool. id like to say that this is the thing thats bothering me but then i would be a liar.