Carefree

i don't care anymore. I don't care what people think of me. They can hate me if they want, it's a free country. I hate when im around a crowd of people and all i can think about is if theyre judging me or not. It's not a good way to live, it's just stressful. I don't give a damn anymore HA!

I went to Montserrat and it was amazing. I felt like i belonged their. I didn't feel like an outcast, it was a beautiful day. There are no words to describe how amazing it was. I want to go there and stay forever. Or at least until i get a job and stuff like that. I still want to compare the city to the subarbs buuuuut i think Montserrat is going to beat living in the city.

I have officially gotten my GPA up to where it's supposed to be; i could leap for joy right now. Now there is one less thing i need to worry about. Any good grades i get now are just adding on to my already graet GPA. I am happy.

numb

it's humid in my house but not outside. i want to be outside but my art is calling for me to be inside. Flowers are an unispirational thing to draw. It's hard to get into; to consume myself in the stroke of each petal gets harder with each line taht protrudes from my pencil. i shoudl be there now, in front of that forsaken drawing, but instaed im here typing words that no one will read.i don't feel like im living, im numb but im not unhappy. just numb.